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 Subject :Gratitude..
2014-10-24 12:02:53 
Joined: 2009-04-13 16:39:19
Posts: 92
Location: Western Cape

At last nights meeting, the topic was "The Family Illness" and I once again realised the impact the Nar-Anon program has had on my life.

Shame: I was so ashamed of my son's addiction I could not speak to anyone about my/his problem. After attending a few meetings, the 3 A's (Awareness, Acceptance, Action) allowed me the strength to share my pain.

Anxiety: Living in the future never allowed me any peace and serenity and I feared so much for the prospects of my/his future. Learning to live in the now eased my fears and allowed me to take one day at a time. The light at the end of the tunnel came into focus.

Guilt: He blamed me for all his problems and I accepted all the monkeys he placed on my shoulders, I struggled to come to terms with what "I" had caused. My exposure to the 3 C's (Didn't Cause It, Cannot Control It, Cannot Cure It) made me see the truth.

Isolation: Although I have a large family and many close friends, I isolated myself because I felt unable to share my shame. Being able to share with so many during meetings, gave me the courage to open the closet (so to speak).

Resentment: The more I came to see that I did not deserve the pain and suffering caused by him blaming me, the more I started to resent him. With the understanding that addiction is an illness, the more I came to a different understanding related to my sons problems.

Focus: During his active addiction, my whole existence was focused on trying to get him free of drugs. He took up all my time and effort and left me emotionally exausted. Through the Nar-Anon program, I came to understand detaching with love, that allowed me the space to step back and allow my Higher Power to take over where I have failed.

Today, the program has changed my life is ways I never believed possible when I first stepped through the door of my first meeting.

Today, my family is in a very serene space and enjoy life one day at a time.

Today, by stepping back and allowing the addict to take responsibility for his own recovery, he is approaching celebrating nine years clean time.

Forever grateful to the Nar-Anon program and all those that shared their experience with me and allowed me to share mine.

You know who you are.


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