Thursday 27th of April 2017

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The Steps and Service – A personal experience

I came into the program seeking a way to change my addict and never for a minute imagined that the program could be about changing me.  As an introduction to my past, I’ll refer to ”The Countdown To The Twelve Steps”, something I found that represented everything that was my life with my addict before Nar-Anon.

The countdown to me entering the program -
12.    I assumed control over the addict and began to arrange his life.
11.    Came to believe that the addict was insane and only I could restore him to sanity.
10.    Made a decision that my will, come hell or high water, be done.
9.      Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of the addict. ...



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VANESSA'S STORY

There I was searching for my wedding dress. "I'm actually getting married!" I thought. It still hadn't quite sunk in. As a young woman the girlish dreams of white weddings had been a reality; but after countless co-dependent relationships of all shapes and sizes, and several years of living alone (not to mention witnessing friends promising to honour and obey in the archaic hierarchy) - I knew marriage was not for me. Yet here I was! It had taken some convincing. Poor guy! But he'd done it.

I never thought a relationship could feel this right. We'd known each other for years, he was like my big brother - so much so that I was quite taken aback when he started flirting with me. Well, thank God he did - I felt happier than I ever have before. Marrying him made so much sense - an old friend I'd fallen madly in love with, we knew each other well, we respected each other - no need to prove anything, to bring out the dogs and ponies, to be likeable, loveable or anything else you think your new partner expects or needs. He loves me and knows me. And I him. 'A match made in Heaven'.

Five days to go.



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