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 Subject :Re: Where are all the families??? MAKE THE CIRCLE BIGGER!!!..
2011-03-30 20:27:02 
broken
Senior
Joined: 2010-12-03 22:29:35
Posts: 40
Location

Hi everyone.

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, but I have been reading al the posts.

Bays, I just wanna give you a big hug. I know how you feel, I have been there not to longago too. I don't have much experience to share, but please rememba to do what is best for you and take care of yourself first.

Mary, 'broken' is what I was when I first stumbled onto this forum. Things have become a little better  4 me, so I am not as shattered as I was then, but I haven't completely mended yet. I am in the process of healing, but I am afraid of feeling betta, or doing betta, because I believe that the 'higher' I go , the harder I may fall if things go wrong for me. So yes , the descriptor doesn't really fit anymore, but I still need to figure out what I would like to be called, and then also how to change my ID.

I understand that everyones identity remains confidential on the forum, but I was wondering if it was possible to contact a member directly, if one needed to. If this is possible, please advise me on how to go about this.

Thanks guys

Thinking of all

Luv Broken

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 Subject :Re: Where are all the families??? MAKE THE CIRCLE BIGGER!!!..
2011-03-31 12:45:55 
Admin
Senior
Joined: 2009-01-24 07:20:07
Posts: 33
Location: Western Cape

Hi broken

Website administration take responsibility for keeping ALL ID's confidential.  If you wish to contact anyone in any of the threads, then we request you send a mail to serenity@naranon.org.za.  Admin will send the contact details thus provided to the person you wish to meet.

That person will then have the responsibility to contact you if and when they ready to do so. The person addressed will dictate the initial contact.

Yours in Service

Admin.

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'The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve' Albert Schweitzer
 Subject :Re: Where are all the families??? MAKE THE CIRCLE BIGGER!!!..
2011-04-15 20:16:21 
Junior
Joined
Posts: 0
Location

Message to Jurgen....

Dude since you are the resident baker... are you gonna make us some hot cross buns for meeting next week??

Come on say yes...

Mary 

 

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 Subject :Re: Where are all the families??? MAKE THE CIRCLE BIGGER!!!..
2011-04-16 21:30:21 
chrislee
Junior
Joined: 2010-12-08 05:50:32
Posts: 9
Location: Durban

Hi all,

it has been a while, 4 months actually, since i have been here, (but i logged on atleast 2x a month just to read the posts cos it helps so thank you all) i hope that all are well. well i have a very hectic 4 months with my addict, if you all remember the last time i was went ahead and got a restraining order (what an ordeal), didnt expect it to be so dificult to get protection, but eventually i did, and things then got progrssively worse, my partner was out of contral, stalking me and threathening me, he was back on the streets, homeless and jobless, he tried to appear as though he was giving up his habit but obviously i saw through him. abt a month ago after the protection was offficially granted he cane to me wanting to change and begging for my help, i cpuldnt turn away and believing that he wouldnt try anythong stupid bcos of the protection order, i tried to help him, it ended badly, his habit took over again, my things went missing from m house, the lying and you guys know the rest...............so i confronted him, and he started threathening us again, threathened to kill my baby, so i called the police and had him arrested, then he threathened to kill us if i didnt drop the charges, well i didnt. i was like a walking time bomb, in constant fear, the case is remanded to the 08 may.

anyway after all of that last week he contacted me, he was off the street, back with his family and getting help, he wanted to see us, promised not to do anything, so i agreed, he looked much better, and now he is even coming to church with me. part of me is still very wary, but i have decided to leave it all up to the LORD, cos HE knows best and HE has become my strenght, i am so tired of fighting this battle, so i have put down my weapons and pray for strength.

 also remember to stay positive, it is difficult dealing with an addict, but i have come to learn that they need for us to be strong for them, we need to have to be able to their pillar of strenght and hope, on the beginning i was very bitter and hurt cos i felt betrayed, but as the months have passed, i realised that for the addicts it is an ongoing battle and very second is a struggle. we are all human and we all have weaknesses, GOD made some of us strong so we can be others strength, we all need forgiveness and love, and GOD loves us all, and i believe that, If GOD can love my addict through it all, then so can i, i cannot change him, i cannot take away his addiction, he has to do those things himself, but i can be his strength to help him get there...................so  to all those who feel lost and hopeless, rememeber that in GOD all things are possible, and it may not get easier, bit GOD will go\ive you the strength to handle yor situation better.

 anyway tats me, hope everyone has a wonderful easter, GOD BLESS.

 

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 Subject :Re: Where are all the families??? MAKE THE CIRCLE BIGGER!!!..
2011-04-20 08:47:04 
Bays
Senior
Joined: 2010-02-19 12:08:33
Posts: 49
Location
I have a prety random request..... As I have said before I do attend an Al-anon meeting and as much as they have helped me and even though all the principles are the same I feel I am lacking the actual contact with families and friends of addicts. So I am asking if anyone knows anyone in my area being Knysna that could maybe help me start a meeting, we were supppose to be moving to Cape Town but that has been put on hold again, and I feel our small little town really needs the help and support. Any suggestions from anyone???
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 Subject :Re: Where are all the families??? MAKE THE CIRCLE BIGGER!!!..
2011-04-20 20:17:02 
yusuf
Veteran
Joined: 2009-04-13 16:39:19
Posts: 92
Location: Western Cape

Hi Bays.

Always a pleasure to find someone prepared to make work of starting a meeting.  I do not directly know of anyone in that area, but do know some people that know some people, if you get the drift.  I already made a call set the ball rolling.

A member will check some of their contacts.  I do believe their are some rehabs in the area, including Sedgefield and something hopefully will come from it.

Now for the bad news. You will need some patience as I am leaving for holiday on Friday.  Will try to check my mail regularly, but might not always have access to the internet where I'm going.  Any information I get I will pass on. If the details are of a personal nature, I will request Admin to pass it along to you by direct mail.

Hang in there.

Yours in Service

Yusuf

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 Subject :Re: Where are all the families??? MAKE THE CIRCLE BIGGER!!!..
2011-04-26 16:01:41 
Bays
Senior
Joined: 2010-02-19 12:08:33
Posts: 49
Location

Thanks Yusuf

 

That sounds really postive, and a little waiting for a good thing never hurt anyone!!! :)

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 Subject :Re: Where are all the families??? MAKE THE CIRCLE BIGGER!!!..
2011-05-20 21:07:59 
Junior
Joined
Posts: 0
Location

Just for a chuckle.....

guys, guess what comes after vetran (that's the thing under our avatars).....yes elite.  I thought after vetran would come senile .... I wonder what comes after elite? Maybe Super uber or something.  hahah Admin... I love your sense of humour hey....

Yours in laughter

Mary

 

 

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 Subject :Re: Where are all the families??? MAKE THE CIRCLE BIGGER!!!..
2011-05-21 13:24:03 
Junior
Joined
Posts: 0
Location

Hi M or should I say E (for elite!) heheheee.  Sorry for the absence but have been tied to the stake and just here there and everywhere. Been trying to keep up to date with the happenigs and glad to see there are still much activity. On the whole, I am doing very well and in a good space.  Just 'things' cluttering my domain, most good and some not so. But then we do believe "We have the power". So ... Will be more regulare soon.

Be Beautiful People.

The J Man.

PS: Did you check out that poem? Wow, enjoyed reading that one. Must make time to share some thoughts ... soon ... promise ... really.

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 Subject :Re: Where are all the families??? MAKE THE CIRCLE BIGGER!!!..
2011-05-25 21:13:45 
yusuf
Veteran
Joined: 2009-04-13 16:39:19
Posts: 92
Location: Western Cape

Hi Bays.

Have not forgotten to look into the Knysna membership. Touched base with my contact after my return from holiday, who is still working on it.  Will keep you in the loop as soon as I confirm anything.

Warmest regards

Yusuf

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 Subject :Re: Where are all the families??? MAKE THE CIRCLE BIGGER!!!..
2011-06-07 11:26:44 
Bays
Senior
Joined: 2010-02-19 12:08:33
Posts: 49
Location

Hi Yusuf

WOW now how is that for amazing, the day you posted that message was the day I attended my first nar-anon meeting. I was in cape town last week writing some exmas and thought it a good idea to attend a meeting. It was amazing and I am now even more excited to start one in my area. I am still very keen I am in the process of looking for a venue but things have just been crazy since I got back, so I am just waiting to get my head above water and that is my next task to tackle so please when you get the information pass it on. I have even got the backing of our local NA group, they think it's a really good idea. 

 

I know I haven't been online in a while but things are looking up, my addict is still having his ups and downs but I am noticing in me that I do not stay  angry and bitter for as long anymore. I can actually see that sometimes he is just doing what he does to get me to fall back into the merry go round, and even if he succeeds I can pull myself out of it a lot quicker then I used to, so I am truly proud of myself. I hope everyone else is doing well and I wish I could've met some of the people on thsi website at the meeting, but I'm sure there will be a next time.

 

HAVE A WODERFUL DAY EVERYONE, AND KEEP STRONG TO THOSE ARE STRUGGLING!!!! Cool

 

 

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 Subject :Re: Where are all the families??? MAKE THE CIRCLE BIGGER!!!..
2011-06-08 19:48:22 
yusuf
Veteran
Joined: 2009-04-13 16:39:19
Posts: 92
Location: Western Cape

Bays.

That's fantastic news. So glad to hear your first meeting was a positive experience. From personal experience, mine was'nt, but then that's because at the time my expectations were to find a cure for my addict. Other than focussing on myself.

Anyway, trust the exams went well.

To start a meeting require some further details which I will share with you off-line. Will send you a mail sometime during the next day or two with relevant information.

Our family used to spend so much time on holiday in Knysna, so a meeting in that area is sure to drag in a few members during their holiday sleep overs. Will check with my source again to see if there is any news. Chat very soon.

Warm regards (in this countrywide cold spell)

Yusuf

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 Subject :Re: Where are all the families??? MAKE THE CIRCLE BIGGER!!!..
2011-09-01 10:51:12 
Junior
Joined
Posts: 0
Location

Yo brother Joe (aka Mr Obama), Yusaf, Luftweya, Jurgen, Bays, Twentzel ....ag my there my memory goes ...and all the other other guys,

Just to say hi and to let you know that I am still alive and kicking.  All my prayers of last year has borne some great gifts and I have been working furiously.  Now almost have a zero balance on the mountain of debt accumulated during active days.  Viva and hallejah I say....

I am so heartened to see so many new members from all over the place.  But mostly I am joyed to be part of this great experience called Naranon.  To see, experience and share the message that there can be life after or with addiction. That we all have in us the seed to care and love for others.  As long as the seed exists there is hope for us and all those still suffering with the effects of addiction.

May that seed grow in all of us one day at a time. May God grant us the strength, courage and conviction to remember that where there is love there is hope.  Where there is hope - there we will find a new life and new begining.

So here is to each day filled with the hope and love of new beginings.

Be blessed. Stay bright. Stay loved.

Mary

PS Happy Eid to all our Muslim brothers and sisters.  Hope you all had a blessed day yesterday.  And you all know I am from the Western Cape - so any chance of getting some koesiesters or boeba? Come on share the love guys...you know who I am talking to hey?? ha-hah

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 Subject :Re: Where are all the families??? MAKE THE CIRCLE BIGGER!!!..
2011-09-24 13:42:21 
Junior
Joined
Posts: 0
Location

Yo Sister.

Can't really call you scarce now can I? Would sound like the proverbial pot calling the kettle ... something or other? LOL.  Anyway, absolutely fannntastic 2c so much activity. The site must be serving some good. Even if we kinda absent!!

Nice to know u getting things sorted out on the personal side. Kinda wondered about your coming and goings, so if you were looking for boebe or something, did anyone know where to find you? Me think the Scarlet Pimpernel was more visible for a while there. Anyway, I get my private stash, so ... sorry, had it all.

As mentioned somewhere else, does feel good to be back. Must make more time to stay connected. Do check comments from time to time. Anyone seen the "Little Star" anywhere?

Update soon again.

 

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 Subject :Re: Where are all the families??? MAKE THE CIRCLE BIGGER!!!..
2013-11-19 13:03:11 
taahirahb
Junior
Joined: 2013-11-19 10:34:29
Posts: 1
Location: johannesburg

I just joined , I feel so alone . My husband recently admitted that he is using drugs, has been using for the past two years in fact. I suspected for some time that he was using but I think I was in denial . It feels like my whole world has collapsed around me. He says he wants to stop but I don't he can do it on his own and he does not want to leave his family . I love him i want to support him but i'm tired of the llies

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 Subject :Re: Where are all the families??? MAKE THE CIRCLE BIGGER!!!..
2014-01-11 16:26:53 
Joe
Senior
Joined: 2012-09-18 18:31:31
Posts: 32
Location

Hi Taahirah

The Nar-Anon program greatly helped me at a time when I thought I had reached the end of my tether and life had nothing more to offer. I can look back with much gratitude at the many lessons learned and the changes these have brought to both my life and that of the addict.

 

Learning to cope with the lies and deceptions can only happen once we understand and recognise the different guises of addiction, learn the concept of setting strong boundaries, communicate more positively, stop falling prey to manipulation while desisting from doing so ourselves, understand our enabling behaviour, etc. etc.

 

At Nar-Anon meetings, all these topics are covered over time and we are all allowed to grow in our own space and time.

 

I believe you are in Johannesburg. There are a number of meetings in that area.  I advise you have a look at the meeting list under the Main Menu, print and have a look at the second page which covers meetings in the regions other than the Cape.

 

Joe.

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 Subject :Re: Where are all the families??? MAKE THE CIRCLE BIGGER!!!..
2014-01-14 17:16:59 
cbjw
Junior
Joined: 2014-01-14 14:57:31
Posts: 1
Location: toms river NJ United States 08753
 

hello all, i wanted to ask some questions to your group, we have a very large heroin problem , in less then a year 115 over doses , in ocean county , we do have a opiate task force , its been 5 mos. since started ...its open to public ...but nothing is helping...only more deaths...do you have a group like this , and if you do , may i ask you how it  runs, what you do,  and any other things you do to help the addicts...i work in a local hospital  in the E.R so i see many over doses, and many many people that want and need help but we don't have the rehabs around us and the ones we have , the ins co make the rules, do they really need it , how long the stay will be , mostly only 30 days , we all know it takes at least 90 days , to get the brain back on track sort of..then and only then the rehab can start ....i hope all of you will fill me in on how you work your programs ...thank you to all . peace, colleen


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colleen wright
 Subject :Re: Where are all the families??? MAKE THE CIRCLE BIGGER!!!..
2014-01-15 22:21:23 
yusuf
Veteran
Joined: 2009-04-13 16:39:19
Posts: 92
Location: Western Cape

Hi Colleen.

 

Nar-Anon is a family support group fellowship offering assistance for family and friends of addicts. The program that deal with addicts more directly in NA (Narcotics Anonymous).

 

I know the NA program is practiced widely in the USA and trust it should be reasonably easy to make contact with them to further discuss a support process to address the problems in your area.

 

Hope this information is useful to you.

 

Yours in Service.

 

Yusuf

 

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 Subject :Re: Where are all the families??? MAKE THE CIRCLE BIGGER!!!..
2014-02-18 15:20:20 
Biya
Junior
Joined: 2014-02-18 12:57:43
Posts: 1
Location: cape town

Hi All,

I hope you all are well and that the new year has started off in a positive note?

I am new to this site so please forgive me if my story is a bit long.

I am in a relationship with a drug addict. I chose this path not because of his addiction but because of the person he is when he is not taking it. our relationship is fairly new (almost a month).

i decided to read up about addiction and someone saw me at the university paging through books and told me about this site.

I realise that what i desire to do is not going to be easy as at times its difficult to engage with my boyfriend sometimes. I know that he trusts me and opens up to me alot and in a way it feels like he asks for help.

how do i go about being supportive? letting him know that i am there? and that he can get through this and not fall back into the cycle of taking drugs.

and how do i not fall prey to manipulation?

any insight would be great.

 

thanks so much

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 Subject :Re: Where are all the families??? MAKE THE CIRCLE BIGGER!!!..
2014-02-22 15:49:40 
Joe
Senior
Joined: 2012-09-18 18:31:31
Posts: 32
Location

Hi Biya

Thanx for the well wishes. The year has gone off to a really great start.

Most addicts I've come across are mostly VERY nice people that just made bad choices. I felt exactly the same about the addict in my life, knowing he was such a softhearted individual.

I think it is important to recognise the role we play in supporting the addict. As much as I wanted to there for him every time he needed help. I also recognised that without understanding what addiction is like, my support was of a vastly different kind. In Nar-Anon I learnt that my role was to love and support the addict but make an important distinction between that and not accepting his addictive behaviour. Also admit that when the addict owned up to me about how he felt, it scared me as I feared the consequences of his actions and hated knowing that at any time he could use once more. When he started attending NA meetings, I realised that he had found the people (fellow addicts in recovery) most able to assist him in his recovery.

If the addict in your life has admitted to wanting help, that is a great start as it is best if they admit to their addiction and the need for assistance in seeking recovery.

In my experience, the best support is to get yourself into a Nar-Anon meeting so as to equip yourself with understanding and support. It is even more important to suggest he attend NA as a support for himself.

Nar-Anon teaches us to care for ourselves and the valuable role we play in the recovery process of the addict. Because we cannot control what the addict will do, it is vitally important to learn to care for ourselves independent of the addicts actions.

Your questions on "how do i go about being supportive", "letting him know that i am there", "he can get through this" and "how do i not fall prey to manipulation" formed part of what I was able to learn through attending Nar-Anon meetings. I encourage you to do the same.

Check the website "Meeting List" for a complete list of all the Groups in the Western Cape.  You are fortunate as we have meetings every day of the week and I am sure one of these would be close enough to you to attend.

Wishing you all the best.

 

Joe

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